VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
