She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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