She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
