Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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