i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
