So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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