like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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