i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
