We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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