Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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