I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
How does one acquire holy water?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
