So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
one might say we're banned from that church
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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