I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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