did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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