Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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