Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
