she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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