I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
