I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
This house was built for laser tag.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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