It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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