I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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