My room smells like vodka and shame
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
