thus making me awesome and them whores
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
