so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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