I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
