He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
