I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
