im drinking this country out of the recession.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
