Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
