she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
