I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
