He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
