i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
