my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I am one with the molecules
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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