I feel great
I just peed on a car
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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