Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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