She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She told me I should be a condom model.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
