Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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