Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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