Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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