Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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