Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
