You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
