Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
