Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
