I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
