When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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