The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
