Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
