i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
