You can't motorboat a personality
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
